I had once gone for my sister Azuka’s 50th and wrote an article that was very critical of African beauty. I had said that the waitressess looked better than the vip guests with their porcelain plastic looks.
I ran into a hail of female turbulence with a horde of women from all over and above 50 abusing the hell out of me. It was so bad that very influential Nduka Obaigbena called me to ask why I used to carry my head to be looking for this kind of trouble.
So what I say yesterday at Okey Bakassi’s 30th anniversary show is too heavy for my mouth to speak. I had gone in on a complimentary VIP ticket given to me by the man himself the great Oke Bakassi.
Then my lord the Area Fada himself now called and asked us to go together. We met up with Mudi, Aki and a whole lot of stars including my brother Elvis who was launching a whole new range of Whiskeys.
The show was fantastic. Well organised and can be compared to it’s type anywhere in the world.. Okey was massive on stage and basket mouth older looking like a derailed railway man gave a very powerful but edgy performance. I loved it.
Everything was going very sweet until the train crashed. At around 1.30am a very influential person in my life had just sunken my heart with a comment on what’s app and I lost all interest in the show.
I tapped my cousin Nelson who had just come back from dropping Area Fada that we shd leave. He was shocked cos he knows my fear of driving at that time of the night in Lagos and commented, that this person must have really hit u to change ur mood like this. I say abeg make we go.
As a last ditch attempt, he said oya make we wait for tuface and after we go. I said OK. Now tuface is my favourite singer and entertainer and I would do anything in this world to see him perform again.
What I saw was a road crash. He looked dishevelled, skinny and out of his head. He appeared out of sorts as if he was on something. The golden voice had gone and what we heard was so plastic that you would think it was a panel beater singing and not my tuface.
Nelson said it was someone miming his song then changed his mind and said it was 9ice. I agreed cos what I was looking at was an apparition. Cndt have been tuface.
He pranced unsteadily around the hall, plunging and almost falling on tables. Grabbing people to steady himself while pouring spit in people’s faces all in the name of singing.
I could actually see some people avoiding him a nd running aaway from him, while a few held him and hugged him others simply just ignored. This was just was that the OJ Simpson car chase. It was the worse kind of road rage you could imagine.
I told Nelson let me get closer. I shd t have. His shoes where worn out. His pants beautiful and his belt beautiful holding down the pants just at the point where his butt crack could have been exposed if his black tshirt didn’t fly out.
The costume was always going to be difficult to pull off. It was a pirate of the Caribbean type ensemble. It was meant to be playfully rough, with the alluring danger of a playboy. But u needed to have the carriage of a Johnny Depp or a David Beckham to carry it elegantly, but instead the many bangles and the many chains and the red and black ensemble came out like a Guru Maharaji convert on suspension.
I went back to my table to meet Nelson in anger. Wetin do tuface he asked and I was looking at him with the same amazement. I know know O. Wetin he take? He asked and I said how I go know? But Edgar J this na tuface o and I no happy as he dey like this o.
This was the worst I have ever seen him and I have seen him so many times to remeber. How Okey and his team could allow this legend come out in that state beats me.
They shd have just given him a warm bath, hot milk and tucked him into the warm cozzy suites of the EKO signature so that his beautiful wife would take care of him instead of allowing him come out to rubbish a beautiful legacy.
I was not happy. I was really not happy, I mean this was tuface. How can Godbless the forever miming legend perform better than him on the same show?
Sad. Really sad. Whoever are his managers should please do everything possible within their powers to make sure this never happens again.
Tuface is a living legend and what I saw yday wasn’t stuff of legends it was worse than an Oshodi bus conductor on kparanga singing the fuji version of – African Queen. Disaster
Duke of Shomolu
